enter at your own risk.

You can’t even imagine the emotions that began to overflow in me, as I walked away from my end of semester evaluation with my supervisors.  All of the feedback they had given me made me feel like I was on top of the world.  For once, all of my efforts were finally acknowledged.  Everything that I worked so hard for, is finally paying off.  Some of the comments they had given me were: “I believe that one of the reasons people gravitate to you, is because of your genuine personality.  You are a great listener, you are very approachable, your quality and quantity of work are outstanding, and you always have a positive attitude when you come to work.”  What struck me the most, was the fact that my supervisors were so observant of my actions, and were intuitive enough to pick up the characteristics that essentially make me the person that I am today.  

First off, I believe in hard work.  I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for my strong work ethic, and my view that hard work will always help you reach your goals.  

Second, my professional demeanor.  I always hold myself to the highest degree of respect, class, and professionalism.  Yes, I may act crazy and wild at times, but I always hold myself with dignity.  Regardless of your views or judgements of me, I always hold myself with class and dignity.  

Third, my positive attitude.  Don’t even get me started with people who constantly complain about life and how hard life is.  SHUT UP!  I’ve met people who have gone through worse things, and here you are complaining about the most minuscule, meaningless things?!  Life isn’t easy.  Everyone has their struggles and hardships.  Don’t compare one life to another, because you never know what the other person is going through.  Yes, I do have my days, who are we kidding?!.. everyone does!  Take a few minutes to sulk about it, then get over it.  Yes, life can be cruel at times, but if you want change to happen, then do something about it!  Okay, yeah..whatever you’re going through sucks, but it could be worse.  Complaining won’t change your situation.  So instead of complaining all the dang time, take steps to change your attitude instead.  

Fourth, my personality.  I believe that I have a weird way of looking at the world, and think I’m a bit of an awkward turtle at times.  I may not be the most outgoing nor outspoken person, and often revert back to my introvert ways, but with me, you’ll never have to second guess my personality.  What definitely hit home during my evaluation, was the fact that my supervisor said I had a genuine personality.  I’ve been burned by so many “fake friends” in the past, that I’ve learned to guard my heart more and more as the years went by.  I believe that people often take my kindness for weakness, and take advantage of my friendship.  When I get to know someone, I get to know them for who they are and what they bring to the table.  I won’t judge you based on your past, appearance, job, level of education, etc.  I get to know you, for you.  With that, I expect the same respect back.  I believe that everything I do is genuine; so don’t you dare treat me with disrespect or think you’ll get away with taking advantage of me.  (I may be shy, but I am NOT afraid to speak up for myself and let my voice be heard!)

To sum it all up and be perfectly honest, I wish more of my friends would be as intuitive as my supervisors are.  I don’t brag, or like to gloat about all of my achievements, because it just ‘aint my style.  I believe that your hard work and efforts should be recognized without you even having to mention any sign of achievement.  I don’t mean to say my friends should congratulate me more and whatever, but I wish that people in general would share the same outlook that I do.  I take the time to know you better, and wish that some people did the same.  Sometimes it means so much more to me that you actually care and ask about how my day went or what I want to do in life.  Don’t just take me at face value, but really take the time to get to know me; that’s all I ask.  Don’t be two-faced, but really be genuine about our friendship.  I know a few of my friendships aren’t as strong as they used to be, but I’m working on rebuilding the relationship that used to be.  I know who my true friends are, and recognize the ones who were just using me all along.  I’m not saying I’m the best person in the world, but I do try.  Try and show me some effort.  Be genuine with your friendship with me, and I’ll do the same.  

I went off on quite a bit of a tangent there, huh?!  =P  Oh well.  Anyway, it’s been an emotional week so far, and ending my week off with that staff evaluation pushed me over the top.  LoL.  I can’t believe I actually teared up in front of my supervisors.  I’m glad they laughed along with me, and didn’t care that I was expressing myself in that way.

 I am sad to see this chapter come to a close, but so excited for what God has in store for me.  

<3  Starr

pandastar:

~Carol Welch

pandastar:

~Edward Stanley

The night that sparked our soon-to-be relationship.  Happy 6 month anniversary, Edward; I cannot believe it has already been half a year!  

First of all, don’t fucking ask me for any type of favor when I’ve never, EVER spoken to you, nor hung out with you.  

Secondly, people need to stop being so FAKE!!  Stop being so two faced and show your true colors!  

...Why is that so hard for people to do?!  

I’m too nice for my own damn good.  I always say yes, and will always be there to help you out when you need it.  I swear, I’m so naive when it comes to shit like this.  You think I’d already learned my lesson back in high school.  People take my kindness for weakness, all the FREAKING time!  I know I have a good heart, and have always believed that people are ultimately kind hearted as well.  I put so much effort into thinking that I could change someone, or help someone become a better person, only to find myself with a another knife stabbed in my back.  (ugh, this is starting to make no sense)  

I’m starting to turn into someone I’m not; someone selfish and one that could care less about helping someone out.  I hate this.  I hate feeling so conflicted inside.  I hate it when I let people into my life, only to have them stab me in the back, only to have me forgive them for their actions, only for them to go back and do it all OVER again.  Seriously though, what the fuck is my problem?!  Why must I be so naive to think that people are capable of change, and these certain individuals are worthy of my friendship?  

I don’t know who I am anymore.  

I need to get away and find some clarity.  Only then will I be able to find myself amongst this chaos.  

pandastar:

-Weezy

miaflores:

ralphabetsoup:

MIND BLOWN

I second that.

Why isn’t s/he the one?
Some people just come into our lives to teach us a lesson, (or, as a matter of speaking, “give you a scar”) but they just can’t stay. Why? because somebody better will eventually push them out of your life… until the right one comes. What you should do is to accept from the start that no matter how you love him/her, there is a possibility that s/he is not the one for you.
You shouldn’t hold on to someone too tight so that
when time comes that s/he has to leave, you wouldn’t be hurt too much
to the point that you would want to kill yourself

I may have forgiven you, but don’t think that I’ll ever forget the wrong you’ve done to me.  Life’s too short to dwell on the past, but how can I move on when I know you’ll still be near.  I wish I could just start over, and move somewhere far away from here.